all-in-or-nothing

I found something tonight… a shred of self belief.

I set out for 6 miles, intending to increase my effort level ever so slightly over the course of the run. So I took off quite slowly, leaving myself more than enough room to pick up the pace as I progressed.

But even my initial slow pace felt challenging, which of course triggered the standard bullshit doubts… I’m not fast enough. I’m never going to be able to run a four hour marathon. I’m going to look an idiot in front of all you guys.

Which got me thinking about why you guys seem to take it as fact that I can run a 4 hour marathon, when despite all my positive thinking and visualisation, something in my head keeps saying I can’t.

Is it that you guys just see the bigger picture… that I’ve said I will do it, and that I’m obviously working hard make it happen. Is it that I am too stuck focusing on the daily and hourly challenges, of training and eating well and maintaining the right mental focus – that I can only see the here and now and not the end point.

And that got me thinking about all the stuff I have done and am continuing to do to make it happen. And I started to see my path as an exponential trajectory that has been slowly building and picking up speed.

Yes, the marathon is only 34 short days away. And yes, I have not consistently maintained a 9 minute mile for more than a couple of miles, let alone for 26 straight miles. BUT…

My progress is not limited by time.

Where I have been does not equal where I am going.

And I have most definitely not come this far and worked this hard to simply hide behind some petty limiting belief that will have me making excuses and doubting myself in future endeavors. I’ve got 34 more days to blow these shitty doubts out of the water.

It is time to go all in.

And as I had that talk with my mind, my body responded.

Lap 1 – 10m 7s
Lap 2 – 9m 36s
Lap 3 – 9m 36s
Lap 4 – 9m 4s
Lap 5 – 8m 32s
Lap 6 – 7m 59s

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